I feel like I'm one of those hamsters on the wheel. I jump on and just keep going and going and get absolutely nothing done and nothing to show for it. Dan is still sick. He hasn't worked since last Tuesday. While he is getting better his brain is like mush and he has a horrible cough. He is getting tired easily and his taste buds have left the building.

I'm struggling with just my usual day-to-day things. Yesterday my blood pressure was only 87/56. My heart rate was 98. Don't ask me why. I fought terrible stomach cramps yesterday morning and slept hard on the couch in the fetal position for about 2 hours. When I woke up I felt much better.

I've really been struggling with being anxious. I think I played with the silly putty for 3 hours one night. I'm back to my old sleeping herbal remedy thanks to a very generous package from Santa Nancy. While I am still requiring a whole one (I always do during a flare-up) I anticipate cutting down to a 1/2 soon.

I'm having difficulty with sorting out what I need to do and how to go about getting it done. Like I said at the beginning, I am spending a lot of time spinning my wheels (pacing around the house) but not doing anything. I may pick a task that I want to work on, but at this time I am lacking the ability to concentrate enough to complete the task. You can always tell when I am having difficulty with this as there are several piles of little projects laying every around the house. I have piles on the table of a project that needs finished, 4-5 different piles in the living room and just as many in the family room, office and spare bedroom. I hope this phase goes away soon. Seeing all the piles just makes my concentration all the worse as then I start beating myself up for the messes that I keep making. I make it so far in the project and then I just lack the mental capacity to finish it so I put it down...

Well, tomorrow is already next year and Sunday again. I can't believe it's been a week since Christmas. With Dan being sick I feel like our schedules are just totally out of wack!
Hey, I went to Sam's Club all by myself the other day to by Dan some Alka Seltzer Cold. It was very exciting, wish I could have browsed a little, but no extra energy for that.

Well, time to go. I am doing laundry, pray I remember to put it in the dryer!!!!

Very very windy today. I did pretty well this morning, then crashed this afternoon. Dan home sick yesterday about 3pm from work. He probably shouldn't have went in. He was in bed all day today and has a fever. So, neither one of us made it to church tonight.

I hope I feel better tomorrow -Dan too!

Dan was sick on Christmas, he didn't even go to church. I went by myself... I felt really really awesome in the morning, but by three I was really dragging. I started feeling really horrible and wasn't able to stand up much. My heart rate at 6pm was 110 and all I'd been doing was laying on the couch.

Needless to say neither one of us felt much like cooking or eating Christmas dinner. So, we voted to have it today.

This morning my color was quite white and pasty. My bp was okay but my heart rate was still up. I rested a little before fixing breakfast. (I know, I get up, make the bed, brush my teeth, walk out to the living room and I've got to rest up-silly isn't it) With the help of my kitchen stool I made buckwheat pancakes from the buckwheat pancake mix fresh from Indiana. Thanks to Santa Mom!

Then I rested on the couch. Then at about 2pm we started working on our belated Christmas dinner. It was wonderful!!! Of course, then we were both exhausted. I headed for the couch and Dan took the bed, him and and all of his fur friends :)

My heart rate is still up tonight, not sure why. I haven't changed anything. Just the nature of the beast I guess.

Merry Christmas Eve!

I'm feeling better. Just a residual cough. No nap today, so far. While all of our snow has melted down here, the mountain is still snow covered so that is pretty. Of course the wind is blowing...
Tomorrow we have church at 1030am, so we will probably open gifts after church. We will see if I can wait or not:) Then we are having a wonderful smoked turkey dinner with all the trimmings.

Oh wow! Carla just dropped by with a homemade pecan pie of Mrs. Adams'. Dan absolutely loves her pies. She made it just for him! I called him at work and told him, he is sooooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday the neighbors across the street brought us a little tin of goodies and a rawhide roll wrapped with a bow. (our dogs are best friends and have little impromptu play dates!!)
It looks like Dan and I have a date for tonight when he gets home. We are going to go look at Christmas lights.

Merry Christmas to all!

Doing better today. My appetite is still poor. But I'm trying my best to stay hydrated. The good news is that while my heart rate is up my blood pressure is staying up as well. I'm staying home today, still not 100%. I'm hoping by Christmas I will feel better.

Still under the weather. Cancelled my appointments for today. Sure wish I felt better.

Hmm, I guess it's been since Saturday when I last posted. Just busy I guess.

Sunday-Nothing unusual today, napped in-between services. Dan tired as well. It's been crazy down at the store, he hasn't been getting lunch times or break times. Then a customer called today at the house begging him to go down to the store so he could pick something up. Dan said no and then it kept bothering him so he gave up his nap and headed down to the store.

Monday-Dan off to work. No days off this week for him. I snuck off to town to try and find a couple of things for Dan that he really needed. I went to three stores and was exhausted. Dropped by the library to donate some canned foods (I had a twenty cent fine and dropping off canned goods wiped out your fine :) ) I checked out some more books while I was there. And then I headed home. I wrapped all of Dan's presents, put up the Christmas tree, decorated it and put all the gifts we had received under the tree. It was ready for Dan to see when he came home. At the same time I also washed the sheets and some misc. clothes. I ran the dishwasher and managed to get it emptied out. Boy, was I ever tired! But it was worth it to have that much done. Dan was exhausted when he got home, we all went to bed early.

Tuesday - I had to be at Interim today at 9am for a meeting. Not feeling well, very sore throat. I stayed until 1pm and then headed home for a nap. Pretty miserable sore throat, I was so tired, but it's hard to sleep when your throat feels like raw hamburger. At least I did get to rest. I headed back into town at 3:30 for Ellie's lesson and our Power Class. Dan and I were both dragging last night. He never got to eat his lunch and only had an apple with some peanut butter. His legs are really sore from being on his feet all day. He did a little Christmas shopping after work and then brought home supper :) MY HERO!! He went to bed right after eating and I took a bath then went to bed.

Wednesday - Wow, I don't feel good. I think I some how caught a cold. I'm so relieved that I have all Christmas related things done and I don't have to try and do them feeling sick. I fixed Dan breakfast this morning, but I just wasn't hungry. We are getting a new hot water heater today. The guys came at 8:30am and they are still here (it's 10am). I just want to take some alka seltzer and go lay down. I have skating tomorrow, but nothing today that I have to do. I sure hope I get over this fast!!

Well, I think that gets me caught up for a little while.

Saturday- No skating today and I'm so relieved to have a totally off day to catch up with rest and household chores. My house is so dirty, I hope I can vacuum and mop today. We have no Christmas decorations up inside the house. So, frustrating. This is the one time of the year, that Dan just doesn't have the time to help me out much. He is not having very many days off and they promised that next week he wouldn't have any. And they usually work late on Christmas Eve...

It is 11 now and I'm pretty tired. Such a bummer, I have so much to do!!! I just don't have time to be dragging.

Well, I'll just plod along the best that I can.

Friday-Well, I made it shopping. I went from 9-1130. I did pretty well and didn't have to puts around people as it was early enough that it wasn't crowded. I was very woozy in the head today and my neck hurt causing a headache later in the day. As soon as I got back home I fed all of the kids and then I napped hard.

Max talk an unauthorized romp through the snow today. I didn't know that he had snuck out for about 15 minutes. I looked out the back door for him and he was running through the snow towards me. It's good thing he was hungry when he snuck out and it was pretty cold and snowy. Silly old cat! He does these things just to keep my blood pressure up!!!

Thursday-Skated at Noon today they had a little buffet set up on the rec center side, so I was able to have some free lunch. The new ice arena manager pointed out that my name was in the city newsletter. I've been a skating instructor for TEN years!!!! I can't believe it has been that long!

After skating I went to Interim to try and get a couple of reports done. The new CEO and his wife were there and Interim was having it's Christmas party starting at 4. I hadn't planned on staying that long as I was getting fatigued and still needed to drive home. But, I did stay for a little while and enjoyed another great buffet of food. So, in one day I wound up with two Christmas party buffet's! Not bad for someone who doesn't get out much.

I was very tired when I got home. I didn't fix dinner and am heading to bed early (before 9).
Tomorrow a friend from church is coming to pick me up to take me Christmas shopping for Dan. It will be the first time I have went. So, I won't be able to lay down tomorrow morning after Dan goes to work like I usually do as she is picking me up at 9am.

Wednesday- I didn't sleep well last night. Tossed and turned, but was so tired. My mind just seemed so busy all night long. I tried to rest this morning, but couldn't get settled in to nap.
Held my florinef today, eyes and face puffy. I was being a real klutz today. Couldn't get my under wear on, couldn't get my pants on, Dan finally came in from the other room and asked what was going. I said nothing, just having some difficulty lining my foot up with the right holes. He laughed and offered some oh so helpful suggestions. :)

Then I thought fixing oatmeal for breakfast would be a safe option, that didn't work out so well. I always add craisins to to the oatmeal, so I'm in mid poor and wouldn't you know it, 1/2 the bag fell out into the pan. I took out what I could and tried my best to stir the rest in. Once again Dan came in from the other room and asked what happened now. I said I hope you like extra cranberrys...

I have skating and church tonight. I sure wish I wasn't so tired. It's hard to look forward to things when I'm so very tired.

Tuesday - kept busy today. Messed up my nap time. I layed down looked at the clock and realized it was time to get ready to go to town... So, I pushed on through.
Talk about poor planning!

Lots of snow today. Which meant the wind stopped!

Tired all day, I wanted to give up and just lay down, but I kept going. I really hate days like this!

Monday - Stayed home all day. Busy this am with booking flights, wrapping presents, doing laundry. Buy 3pm I was totally exhausted. I layed down and slept very hard for two hours.
I cooked supper and am now baking a cake. Then I will rest the rest of the evening. (Well, I'll set still while I work on Christmas cards.)

I've found if I'm tired and keep doing things I start to get chest pain, I have no idea why! But, I just try to pace myself in general.

Sunday-Made it to Sunday School, AM church, PM Church and a meeting/supper after church.
But, very, very tired. I took a long nap in-between services.

Saturday-much better day today. I taught my two classes. I felt a little shaky, but I made it. People thought I looked pretty good.

I rested when I got home!

Friday--meet my buddy the couch day, again.

Today was one of those days where I felt good if I was laying down. When I'm laying down, I feel great. So, I get up to do something, and it's all I can do to get back to the couch.

It least I felt good laying down!

Well, I went to town today. BAD idea. I was 1/2 way in to town and I started feeling bad. By the time I got to the rink I was a little foggy and it showed. My balance was also extremely bad. Some days I can't stand up straight let alone skate. It was horrible.
At least I tried.
It was cold today too. I stayed home the rest of the day. The church ladies were having a Christmas party tonight, I had a ride but still did not feel well enough to sit up for very long.

WOW is it ever windy!!!! Started in the middle of the night sometime. And while it has warmed up the temperature to the single digits, it has bottomed out our wind shield factor. Our winds are 30 mph with41 mph wind gusts, no wonder it is so raw and cold outside. Right now our windshield is minus 14. Lucky us:) But the sun is shining!

Dan doesn't really want me to go out, but the lesson I couldn't go to on Tuesday because of my low blood pressure I rescheduled for today at noon. So, I'm going to do my best to make it. Then I will head right back home.

I do feel pretty good for now. Will take easy this afternoon to recuperate from being outside:)

Oh, I slept much better last night! (I took 1/2 a benadryl)

We broke a record last night, 23 below zero! I'm glad I was in bed asleep. I went out for a couple of hours today. I had my darth vader mask on. It was still pretty cold, too cold for me to stay out in it. So, I went home and didn't go to Awanas.

I didn't sleep well last night. I was so tired but kept tossing and turning. I'd fall asleep for a while and then wake up to find a new spot to turn. Not sure why. I did stay in the bed all night though.

Tomorrow the wind is supposed to come back. Which should warm our temperatures up but at the same time will bottom out our windshield factors...

Other than the cold I had a pretty good day.

Today was an interesting day. I felt pretty good. But, at my 9am vital sign check with the electronic nurse my heart rate was 92 and my blood pressure was only 75/45!!!!! Dan and I just shook our heads.

I was to have a Noon skating lesson, but had to cancel. I don't drive when my blood pressure is that low... I drank more fluids and I had already taken my florinef this morning. By 3pm my blood pressure was up to 113/? (I can't remember the bottom number). So, I went on into town for my 4:15 lesson and 5pm class.

Now, getting into town was the next issue. Actually it was the dressing to go out that was the challenge. You see, it is cold here. No, I'm not being wimpy. It is cold here, right now it is -4 degrees. (yes that is a minus sign in front of that 4!) They are saying the wind shield factor is about neg 15-20 degrees. But, thank goodness, the wind is not really blowing much, just a slight
breeze.

Now, the cold weather itself is really not that big of deal. We don't have humidity, so it doesn't get down into your bones and make you feel like you are freezing to death. But, my health situation makes the cold a little different story. Since they believe that a coronary spasm possibly caused my heart attack I try to avoid "triggers" that the doc's say could cause another spasm. "Extreme cold" is a trigger. I purchased my own version of a darth vader mask a little over one year ago. It has a special rebreather mask thingy on the front of it with neoprene type cloth that holds it in place and goes around the back of my head and velcros. It also covers my neck and ears. Basically it covers my face from just below my eyes down to my neck. The special rebreather device actually helps to warm the air before I inhale it.
I look quite interesting, but hey, I get to go outside!

Tonight at 6:15 my heart rate is in the 90's and my blood pressure is going back down. It is 100/50.

I did take an hour and 15 minute nap this afternoon before skating.

I do want everyone to know that we have not had a really cold or snowy winter in Casper for about 15 years. So, we really can't complain about it. Life goes on, I just have to plan my outtings a little better!

The only thing I regret is not getting gas before this cold snap.........

Did pretty well today. I stayed home but was able to get a lot accomplished. I watered the plants. Moved the Pepper and tomato plants around so we had a spot to put up the Christmas tree. Yes, we are still eating fresh tomatoes and peppers! I washed sheets and towels and a load of colored clothes. Dan made the bed for me.

I went pretty strong until about noon and then all of the sudden I was so tired. We ate lunch then I went and took a shower and then I layed down and rested and slept for most of the afternoon.

I fixed a nice supper with roasted vegetables, broiled Mahi Mahi, a small dinner salad (with fresh tomatoes and green, red and yellow peppers) and had a simple dessert of butterscotch pudding.

Not bad for diet food if you ask me.

Well, it is late and I am tired. I think I will join Dan and Ozzie in bed!

Felt really off today. A lot of brain fog. Very difficult at some parts of the day to keep my thoughts on track. I just felt better lying down.

I didn't make it to church today at all.

Some chest pain tonight. I did not take my florinef today. Just way to puffy. My blood pressure stayed at 100. My heart rate seems to be under better control since increasing the atenolol.

I will get to rest tomorrow and then have things scheduled for Tues and Wed. With optional things planned for Thursday and Friday. Then of course, skating on Saturday and Church on Sunday.

Skating today. Able to be done 45 minutes early. I headed home, started supper (homemade soup) and layed down.

Having some chest pain so I took an extra propranolol.

I did too much yesterday. Was in town for 5 hours. Just dragging last night and this morning. Inspite of sleeping well. I survived skating today. But very tired on the inside.

Looks like we will only need to be in Nashville for a week. Not sure what we will be doing with the kids. Sure would be nice to find a housesitter who really spent time at the house, but that hasn't worked out in the past.

I'm making some tomato soup and then I am going to lay down, warm up and rest up as best I can for tomorrow.

Fatigue is trying to creep up but I'm still plugging along. Went to Interim for one hour yesterday and then to the ice rink for one hour. Boy was I tired when I got home. I slept really well last night.

The wind is really blowing. It snowed Wednesday for most of the day. Snow is a good thing in Wyoming because the Wind usually stops when it snows. It is so peaceful and quiet when it snows. But, when it stops snowing, then the wind starts. We have about 1 foot of snow. Now, with the wind blowing we have a large bald spot in the front yard that has created large drifts in various places.

Yesterday it was very chilly. Like 14 degrees when I was out and about. Today, with the Wind blowing so hard it is much warmer out, except when the blowing snow hits you!

I'm resting a little this morning before I head out for a lunch meeting at 11am.

Tomorrow is skating. I'm so tired it's hard to look forward to it sometimes...

Yesterday wasn't such a good day, but it did improve that afternoon.

I slept well last night until 0130 when Max woke me up to eat. I almost passed out in the kitchen. I quickly sat down on the little kitchen stool and sat there for quite a while waiting for it to pass. (Max was not that patient) I quickly finished putting his food in the bowl and went back to bed. I layed there for 1/2 an hour waiting for my heart rate to decrease and my blood pressure to come back up. It did not. I felt so miserable lying flat, I thought maybe propping up a little bit on the couch would help. So, off to the couch I went. It took about another 1/2 hour before I started feeling better and then I was finally able to go to sleep.

Yesterday I spoke with Vanderbilt. Everyone was so very nice! We are trying to find out how long to plan for being down there before I buy airline tickets. They called back once and said they would review some more information with the nurse and get back to me. It is all so very exciting!

I felt good on Sunday, still needed a nap in the afternoon. I did well this morning was to have a meeting in town, but it was rescheduled for Friday. I fixed lunch later this afternoon and then I started getting tired. I took a nap around 4pm. Irregular heartbeat woke me up. I was very cold, especially my nose and feet.

My blood pressure has been a little lower today than what it has been 95/70's with my heart rate in the 90's. I don't feel as punky this afternoon but I am so thankful for the last few days. They have been totally awesome.

Took my florinef today. Skated for one hour. I did pretty good today. Really tired right now. So, I will be heading off to bed shortly.

Dan has the Christmas lights up and now it is snowing!!

Held my florinef yesterday and today as my eyelids and above my eyelids were swollen. I hate that puffy look!!! Plus my ankles/lower legs are retaining water.

Pretty good day yesterday and today. I didn't go anywhere today. I was kind of beat after Wednesday and Thursdays activities. So, I needed today to kind of vegetate.

The wind started back up late this afternoon. It is getting colder too.

Tomorrow I will go skate for one hour and then go see Dan at the store, they are having a pearl show this weekend.

Another pretty good day. A little ortho first thing this morning, but that improved within a couple of hours. Long day, but good.

Wow, I'm back, I'm back!! I feel so much better! Dan asked me, "So, where have you been?" We always laugh about my trips to oblivion and the long road back.

The increase in my medicine has helped dramatically. Last night about 10pm Dan said, "hey, you've actually got some color back in your face." I felt so much better right at bedtime last night. We all slept well :)

Today has been just an incredible day. This is the best that I have felt in a couple of weeks. I didn't even take a nap today! i am getting a little tired right now, but hey! I've been to town twice, Skated at noon and again at 4, fixed supper and caught up on harrassing Dan (a very important thing,you know).

Now, I'm almost afraid to look back at the last few days of logs to see what I wrote. I never fully realize how foggy I get until the fog clears and then I look back and go, OH WOW, was I ever not with the program!!!!

Dan told me tonight how nice it was to have me back. I can't believe how much better I feel.

So, everyone, you can breathe easy now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rough night last night. Chest tightness kept me awake. I went to the couch and propped up. I wanted to go to the ER, but I really hate those places so I didn't wake Dan up. Dan called Dr. Li this morning he called back and spoke with me. We are going to try increasing my beta blocker to two times a day instead of one. I am to keep taking the florinef to counter balance the hypotensive effects of the beta blocker.

I am not sure why this is going to work, he said something about my level of beta blocker is too low and I am experiencing innervated syncope. What-ever!

I didn't go anywhere today didn't feel really well at all, but I am better than yesterday.

Dan's worried. I don't look so good. He keeps looking at me real funny. I finally asked him what is going on, why do you keep looking at me like that. He told me because I haven't looked this bad except four years ago. I said I'd just had a heart attack 4 years ago. He said, that's my point.

Not a good day at all. I went to SS and church. Dan didn't want to take me. I was very miserable about 1/2 way through the service.

I don't know what's going on. I do feel really, really bad. I'm just not sure what to do about it.

Dan says I haven't been quite the same since we stopped my meds for the those tests.

I'm definately in a pothole.

Yesterday was a rough day, especially yesterday afternoon and evening. I was having a lot of chest pain and Dan said I looked a little gray. I took a propranolol for the chest pain when Dan came home around 7pm. It did not improve. So, I took another one around 9pm.

My headache has continued all week, especially when lying down. I think the florinef is causing it.

This morning I woke up with the headache but no chest pain until I stood up. Now I am having that nagging chest pain. Darn mitral valve anyway. it may not be life threatening, but it sure makes me feel bad...

I only have to skate for one hour today. I'm so relieved, I don't think I can do much more.

Sluggished and fatigued this morning. I've been trying to work a couple of hours every Thursday and Friday, but I just can't do it today. I will stay home and work from home. I need a break I guess. Who would have thought that trying to work 20 measily hours a month could be so hard.

Moving about in the mornings seems to be getting harder, I'm so sluggish and slow brained. But, I am managing to get breakfast cooked and Dan's lunch made. Then I crash when he leaves.

Took me all morning to get going and get ready to go to town. I worked for 2 1/2 hours at the office, fueled up and picked up my prescription refill. So tired.

Lady's meeting tonight at church. I'm not really up to it, but I signed up for treats this month. Sue is doing most of the work.

Too much stimulation at the Lady's meeting. I came home and took a bath hoping it would help to calm my overstimulated system. It seemed to help.

Skated for one hour today. Awana's tonight. I'm getting increasing fatigue. New sleeping herb seems to be working, but it doesn't go down easy.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night with chest tightness and just a general feeling of being uncomfortable, well miserable. I had to set up on the couch, which helped and I fell asleep on the couch.

Tonight I am having chest pain, burning and I'm very tired/fatigued.

My get up and go seems to be going on longer and longer trips.

I have a feeling that I can't continue this pace much longer, but I wanted to try and see how much I can do. Things just seem to need to be done and I have no other way of getting things done than by just bucking up and doing it.

I have this problem with over committing myself when I feel good. I feel great for a week or so and during that week I feel so good that I committ myself to doing things that I can't follow through with when I'm not feeling so good. But, it seems silly to not do things when I feel good...

I sure wish there was an easly formula for me to figure out how much is enough and how much is going to be too much in a day or two.

I am trying that new herbal sleep pill again. I wasn't real impressed with it last night.

I'm so tired and foggy and I hurt, so I better close. I'm sure I am not making much sense.

Monday, long but productive day today.

I had an open house candle party tonight, so, I cleaned and cleaned the house. Dan eventually had to help me. I then had to go into town for a 2pm meeting.

It really snowed and blowed tonight but I still had a good turnout.

Very tired tonight. I am trying a new herbal sleep formula tonight from Swanson.

Sunday. Rough night last night. I woke up hollering for Dan to help me. I couldn't breathe. I think it was just a bad dream. But, it scared both of us and we didn't sleep so well for the rest of the night. Me, because I didn't want to have that dream again. Dan, because he wanted to make sure I was still alive by morning.

Church today. I slept in between services. I made it back for the evening service but I didn't feel so well. I think I was mostly fatigued.

I'm taking a benadryl tonight. I'm not going through that again!

Skating day. Physically, it is my hardest day of the week.

I was dragging before I was done with my first lesson, but I kept going.

The worst part about my episode yesterday is that it seemed to drag me out a little today too.

Overall, I did pretty well today considering my physical demands.

I did take a nap when I came home.

Well, I better close, I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.

I laid down for a nap this morning before I headed into town for an 11am haircut. I awoke abruptly at 9 am with my heart racing I felt awful. My blood pressure monitor said my heart rate was 133. It felt awful and I felt like I was coming apart at the seams. It was very, very unnerving.

I made it into town for my haircut (my last one was in July, so this was really important to me and it was a new girl, so I didn't want to cancel). My heart had settled down, but I found myself tired and starting to get fatigued about 2pm. My brain just started shutting down and I was having great difficulty processing and thinking.

What a long day. I am so tired.

Today is Thursday! Went into town and worked for about three hours. I felt good and did really well today.

Skated today. Awana's tonight. A little off balance tonight. Feel foggy and very, very tired.

Took benadryl tonight. Didn't sleep well at all last night. Don't want that to happen again tonight.

Today was a two nap day, but I was able to accomplish household tasks.

I skated for one hour. I had some chest pain near the end of the first 1/2 hour. I was using my arms a lot! So, I quit doing what I was doing and started feeling better.

I felt really, really good on the drive home and while fixing supper and then while we were sitting down eating my heart started racing and flip flopping. It was most uncomfortable. I took a propranolol. It is a different kind of beta blocker.

I was so tired but I just couldn't fall asleep. So I went out to the couch and propped up.

Well, when I last posted the wind had stopped. Well, I was wrong! It only took a break for a few hours. That night it blew and blew and blew with hard gusts in-between. Sunday all day was quite windy. As you can imagine smog is never problem here:)

Today was much better for wind. Just the normal blowing, not the rip your head off blowing!

I'm doing pretty good. Didn't get as much done today as I would have liked, but I did get some things done. I needed an am nap and then again another one this afternoon. I just ran out of steam.

I'm tired now, it's after 10pm. I'm heading off to bed.

The wind stopped this afternoon! However it did start raining and snowing. I call it "SNAIN". It is about 40 degrees.

Up again at 6am. Fixed breakfast for Dan and I. I layed down at 7 and slept really hard until 9am when the electronic nurse hollered at me. Then I layed back down and rested until 10.

I headed out to the ice rink for a couple of hours. There was no open skate today so I was able to leave early. I took a nice nap.

Feeling tired tonight. I have a lot going on tomorrow. I hope I can keep up...

A pretty good day today.

Dan had to go in earlier today so I was up at 6 making him homemade buckwheat pancakes. Marge, A friend that Dan works with went back to Indiana, home of the Parke County Covered Bridge festival. Well, she brought me some fresh stoned ground buckwheat from one of the mills.

UMMMMM UMMMMM good!

I layed down around 7am and took a little nap until 9am. Then I was off the couch and taking on the day. Played with Ozzie, checked on the green house-it got a little cool out there last night. Tonight we will need to turn the heat on:). Played with Shi and Max and got myself ready to go to town.

I went into town about 11:30. Had to get a coffee pot for Dan. Then I went to Interim to work for a couple of hours. My office is moving again. This will be the third time that I've moved, but that's okay. At least I have an office!

Then I rushed home to get Max for his Vet appointment. Just a routine visit for his shots and yearly check-up. I rushed into the house, grabbed him up put on his harness and leash and jumped into the car. Backed out of the garage and 1/2 way down the driveway when suddenly, I felt this wetness on my thigh. Yes, Yes, Max sat on my lap and peed on me!

I pulled back up the drive, ran back into the house with him took him to the litter box. Of course, he was already done. I quick called the vets office, told them I would be a little late as Max peed on me and I needed to change clothes. The girl on the other end started snickering immediately!!

I ran in changed clothes and had to find another coat. (yeah, he got that too.) Grabbed Max again and headed back out to the car. I put a towel on my lap and he layed down and rested for the short trip to the vets.

I walked into the vets office and everbody smiled and grinned. We were there about 45 minutes and as I met different people they said, "Oh, this is the one." Even the vet that we saw was quite tickled with the whole incident.

The good news is that Max is in much better shape than we had been led to believe. His heart is good, lungs are clear and his eyes have no cataracts. The vet is new to the practice so it was our first time meeting him. He was very impressed with Max. Kept saying what a cool cat he was. Max has lost more weight. He is just under 11 lbs. (10.50).

So, I had a busy but entertaining afternoon.

Okay, update to the "Wyoming Wind Festival". It still goes on and on... Four wind related accidents were reported in Wyoming yesterday. Three involving semi's. A big wind gust of 52mph woke up Dan last night. We know the speed because the news reported what time a big wind gust hit and what it's speed was and that was the time that Dan woke up. From the news report we have a few more days of this wind. Yep, one of these days I'm going to break down and buy one of those Wyoming Wind Festival T-shirts. One must have a sense of humor about the wind or it will get the best of you!!!!!

Until Tomorrow.

I tossed and turned trying to fall asleep and felt like I did that all night long. I woke up tossing and turning too. Really tired this morning. Dan thought maybe I did too much yesterday. (Not me!)

Wind is still blowing today. They have issued a high wind warning. That means if you're driving a light weight, high profile vehicle (empty or light loaded semi's) You just might blow over!!!
Today I'm going to need a nap. I was going to town today but I will just need to go tomorrow instead. I pray that I will feel better tomorrow...

Oh, I did forget to take all of my meds this morning. Dan and I were so busy talking that I forgot all about them. So, I finally took them about 2pm. It happens. It use to happen alot. It's been a while since I've totally spaced them out.

Today was a great day. I accomplished alot! Did laundry and dishes, cleaned up the kitchen, watered plants and I didn't take a nap. I had an appointment in town at 2pm then went to the Library. After the library I went to the ice rink and skated for one hour. Then I had some time to kill before church at 6:30pm, so I went to Hobby Lobby and wandered around.

I was getting a little tired by 6:30, but survived AWANA's. Then Dan and I headed home.

Wind is still blowing. The news said its been blowing at 30-40 mph with 50 mph gusts. I try not to count the days in a row that it blows non-stop. It's just a matter of not wearing dresses and tying my hair down:)

I got up first thing this morning and showered. Well, now I remember why I stopped showering first thing in the morning. I managed to make breakfast for Dan and I and then I needed a nap. Oh well.

The wind is still blowing. I made it out to the green house today. Had some tomatoes and peppers ready for eating.

I skate this afternoon for a couple of hours.

Well, my brain fog came in. It makes me feel very far away from my body. The term, "Lights are on, but nobody's home" comes to mind. Dan was nice and drove me in to town.

My body is tired and my brain is close behind:)

Windy today. It is kinda kicking my butt. But, I was able to vacuum after my morning nap. Then I had to take an after vacuuming nap. It's kinda of a joke around here. Dan is home today and tomorrow. Ozzie really loves that.

Well, I'm going to start some soup that I'm making for a late lunch/early supper. I slept through lunch so I'll just serve Dan an early supper:)

Skated yesterday. I did well, but tired. Went to bed at 7:30pm. Just really bushed.
Church today. I took a nap after we ate lunch. Slept really hard until about 4:30pm.

We went to evening church.

Today at 7:30pm marks the 4th year anniversary of my heart attack. It's funny how it is something that both Dan and I remember without any prompting.

I'm tired tonight and feeling a little fuzzy/anxious. I'm a little off balance as well. Very frustrating since I use to have such great balance.

A lot of emotional strain today. Tomorrow is my rest up day. I love the time change! It is actually daylight at 6:30am! It makes it so much easier for me to get up.

Dan home today. I'm doing pretty well. Pretty much back to my normal up and down's. I took a really long and hard nap this afternoon.

Doing so much better the last couple of days. Tomorrow is skating... a long day for me, but I can rest when I get home :)

Dan works tomorrow.

The wind is really blowing today. Dan thinks that is a factor in how I feel. I try not to think about it as the wind blows a lot around here.

Until tomorrow.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. No nap! But, I did get really, really tired by the time Awana's came around. But, I made it and drove home. I layed down when I got home and then went to bed shortly after.
I got up in the middle of the night last night to go to the bathroom and whew, was I ever dizzy. My blood pressure must have been really low. Like pre-pass out feeling. It was all I could do to make it back to bed. I didn't sleep well the rest of the night. Tossed around the rest of the night.
But, by morning I felt better. Plus, Dan is off today and tomorrow so I got to sleep in an hour.
No nap today and went in to Interim for three and 1/2 hours. But, boy am I feeling pretty exhausted right now. I'm going to rest before I fix supper.

I'm dragging today. I'm really fighting the fatigue. The easiest way to explain fatigue is to imagine what it would feel like to carry around a cement block in each of your limbs and one in your chest, then throw some thick mud in your brain box and try to think through it and move.
The only reason I'm explaining fatigue is until I experienced it, I didn't have a clue as to what it really meant. I use to think it just meant you were really really tired. I always figured people with fatigue just needed to buck up and push through it. Boy, was I ever wrong. I didn't have a clue. I was wrong.

My heart rate is still running a little high. Today it ranged from 98 to 112. I got up at 6:30 and fixed breakfast and made Dan's lunch and his two snacks. It was all I could do to stay up until he left at 7:30. (If I lay down before Dan goes to work, he worry's all day and calls a lot. I've learned not to lay down until he actually leaves. I hate to worry him for nothing.) So, I fell asleep and slept really hard until my home med monitor nurse system started going off at 9am. She hollers at me every five to ten minutes for 1/2 an hour until I either get on the scale or my 1/2 hour is up.)

I sat up on the couch for about 1/2 an hour trying to wake up. I took Ozzie outside for a little while and then came back in and rested on the couch until Ozzie wanted to go back out an hour later. It was just a struggle all day to get my act together. My heart rate really started messing with me this afternoon and I became really, really fatigued. But, I went to the ice rink. Thank goodness for Ellie. We had our private lesson and then she helped me to teach my power class.

On days like this, I must admit that giving up skating and everything else seems so much easier than to fight the fatigue to sit up let alone walk around. But, I know I won't feel this bad everyday. It is just my body readjusting to the meds and getting them back into my system. But, fighting the up and down heart rate, the low blood pressure and and the fatigue makes me feel bad.

Sorry this post is so depressing. I'm just having one of those days. It will be better tomorrow. Tomorrow I skate for an hour and then have AWANA's at church.

Right now, I just want to sleep. I've managed to stay up this long, only because Dan, Ozzie and Max have taken over the entire bed. They do look darn cute.

Yesterday, Sunday, was a better day health wise. I was a little anxious last night and grabbed the silly putty. I worked with it for a couple of hours while I watched tv and waited for my bendadryl to take effect.

Today is a much much better day. I restarted the florinef today as well. On Friday I had only restarted the beta blocker. Anyway, today feels much better than I had felt all last week. I was actually able to get some household chores done and worked out in the greenhouse for about 45 minutes. Ozzie and I sat outside and soaked up some rays for over an hour this afternoon. I caught up on some piles of reading (magazines, newspapers, etc.)

I even showered today and still felt like doing things afterwards.

So, I can get back to skating this week and Interim and church activities. I'm back to my normal only semi-puny self and not the lump on the couch self!!!!

Tomorrow is skating!

My morning wasn't too bad and I felt pretty good. Yesterday I had decided that I would go ahead and get a sub for my skating classes and cancel my 3 privates. But, this morning I was wondering if I could have skated. Well, my good feeling didn't last very long. By 11 I was starting to feel a little woozy and by 1:30 I was down for the count. And it is now after 7pm and I still feel pretty bad. My blood pressure all day has been 80/47 all day long.
My brain is foggy and I'm very tired.
I will close for now. It will just take a few days for my meds to get leveled out. I'll be better by Monday or Tuesday.

Lana picked me up around 9:30 am. I was in the doctor's office before 10am. I just rested on the couch while I waited. I didn't feel much like reading while I waited. My fatigue has been slowly getting worse all week. They called me back into the room at about 1030. It is too fatiguing to set up so I went ahead and layed down.
A little after 1100 the PA student came in and we got started. Dr. Li poked his head in and said he wanted to do something a little different today, he wanted my hooked up to the heart monitor while we did the various blood pressure checks. It turned out to be a good thing as during the entire process my heart rate would rapidly change. One moment it would be at 70 then it would jump up to 130's then it would drop back down to the 70's and 80's, then it would jump back up to 140's, 150's and even 160's. Then three different times my heart rate would be way up and then boom, it would rapidly drop down to 35 and the low 40's. It freaked the PA student out a little. She asked me if I was okay. I was a little freaked out too. In this entire four year process I have never seen my heart rate go up and down so rapidly nor so dramatically. It was very bizarre.
Well here are the results:
Lying 10 minutes: blood pressure = 108/54, heart rate = 74
Standing 3 minutes: blood pressure = 122/80, heart rate = 126
Standing 10 minutes: blood pressure = 80/54 (I was a little woozy), heart rate = 126-142
They ran off rhythm strips and tried to catch my heart when it was at the really high heart rates and then when it was at the really low heart rates.
Dr. Li said it was most bizarre and the only thing he could figure was that it was the malfunction of my autonomic nervous system. Most bizarre we all agreed. He stated that in the information he was going to sent to Vanderbilt he was going to document the huge heart rate variences during this office visit.
Needless to say, I was very tired after that and did take my beta blocker before I left the office.
So, I need to go through this one more time when I go to Vanderbilt. Flying in this condition--yuck!
So, Dan took me home and I hit the couch. I did feel better by evening, still not real punky, but better off.
The moral of the story is that the beta blockers I take to control my heart rate, truly do give me quality of life.

Well, my appointment is on hold. Dr. Li is in the cath lab with the same patient that caused me to be rescheduled last week. Ironic isn't it? So, I called Lana, who is my ride, and she is okay with me just calling her when they are ready and she'll still come and get me. The doctor's office is supposed to check back with me at 3:30 to let me know how things are going. If not, they will squeeze me in tomorrow.
I really don't want to go all weekend feeling like this. But, I'll do what ever it takes.

Well my appointment has been rescheduled for tomorrow. Actually they just told me to come in any time before 2pm. So, my friend Lana is coming to get me around 9:30am. I'll just camp out there until they can see me, I guess.
Thursday, Oct 20, 2005 - 03:40pm

Entry for October 19, 2005
Whew. What a tough day. I'm not standing up too much today. I wasn't able to do much today. Lying down a lot. Easily short of breath. Got a ride to church tonight. Lost my air just walking from the house to the car. Didn't go down stairs at church. Waited for the kids to come back up into the classroom. I had to go up about 6 steps to go out of the church from the Sunday school building and I had to set down as soon as I made it up the stairs. It really surprised me.
Taking 1/2 benadryl tonight for sleep. It seems to really help.
One more day until my appointment, then I can take my beta blocker again.
Heart rates have been around 120-130's with standing.

Entry for October 18, 2005
Well, I tossed and turned until 1am and then I got up and went and propped up on the couch and went right to sleep. Some nights I just sleep better propped up and I can't get comfortably propped up high enough in bed. So, the couch is just right for propping me up and I can breathe so much easier.

Today I did pretty good but did get a little short of breath during the day. So, I didn't go into the rink today. I became really, really short of breath at 6pm tonight. It didn't get better until about 7:00. I am having some chest pain, but it is better than not being able to breathe.

I will take 1/2 a benadryl for sleep tonight. I have a ride into church planned for tomorrow. I just need to get a ride into Dr. Li's on Thursday for my tests. Dan can take me home, but not pick me up. I just need to ask someone...

I can't believe how bad I felt just a few minutes ago!

Okay, time to laugh at Jody moment. I was very anxious on Sunday night. So, I try my best to remember what to do when I get that way. I have several different tips and tricks that I use. One of my most important tools is my SILLY PUTTY! It really really helps. Well, I couldn't find my Silly Putty, anywhere, so that was making me even more anxious. (The good news is that on Tuesday I found my silly putty in my bedside table). I started drawing and doodling and it really helped.

So, here I am tonight, feeling comfortable just knowing that I know where my silly putty is!!!
I'm just not feeling so hot right now, so I better close for the day.


Entry for October 17, 2005

Monday again. I had a great burst of energy this morning. Got into the middle of several projects and then poof - I started feeling just exhausted. So, I have stuff strewn everywhere! It sure would be nice to finish one thing that I start :)

Really anxious again tonight. I worked all day at keeping my mind busy and relaxing the brain, but that didn't work out.

Took 1/2 a benadryl this evening. Hope it helps me to sleep.


Entry for October 16, 2005

Today is a busy day at church. Another candidate is trying out. I'm tired, but surviving. I thought I would have a few days before I started noticing that I didn't have the atenolol on board. I am very foggy today. Emotions are running high at the church and it is extremely draining when I do feel good.

Today was almost too much. The high heart rate makes me a little anxious as it is, but to add stress to the mix... Talk about a basket case.

I'm back to taking the 1/2 a benadryl before bed. It does help.


Entry for October 15, 2005

Short of breath and fatigued today. I did make it to the ice rink but cut some of the lessons short. I also took a break in between classes and open skate.

I went home and rested.


October 14, 2005

Last night I didn't feel well at all. A lot of chest pain. It just makes me feel bad all over and uncomfortable. I did sleep through the night.

I took a nap this morning from 8-9.

I had my doctor appointment with Dr. Li today. Well, it actually got rescheduled because he had to go do a heart cath at the hospital. But, I did get to visit with him about holding my meds for those blood pressure and heart rate tests that Vanderbilt wants documented and faxed as soon as possible. Those results will help them to determine if I will be seen as an inpatient versus an outpatient.

Anyway, Dr. Li agreed that we would need to hold the meds for about five days and then he would like to perform the test himself. So, Starting tomorrow no atenolol and no florinef. I see him Thursday afternoon and will be his last patient so he can spend as much time with me as needed. He sincerely reminded me that it would be a hard week without the atenolol and I would probably become anxious. He instructed me to call him with any problems. We discussed what measures I could take for my chest pain that wouldn't interfere with Thursday's test results.

Dan and I are also making plans to try and anticipate me not feeling well. Like getting rides for me and what things I should probably plan on canceling. Being without the Florinef does not worry me near as much as going without the atenolol. That is what keeps my heart rate down. Even while I am on it my heart rate while standing ranges from 100-130's. But, I will need to do this again the week before I go to Vanderbilt so this will be a good test for me to know what to expect and to plan accordingly.

Tonight I don't feel so hot again. My chest is really hurting and I'm tired. But, I did go to Interim today after my canceled doctor appointment and stayed until 5.

I'm going to bed now. Not feeling good.

Last night I didn't feel well at all. A lot of chest pain. It just makes me feel bad all over and uncomfortable. I did sleep through the night.
I took a nap this morning from 8-9.
I had my doctor appointment with Dr. Li today. Well, it actually got rescheduled because he had to go do a heart cath at the hospital. But, I did get to visit with him about holding my meds for those blood pressure and heart rate tests that Vanderbilt wants documented and faxed as soon as possible. Those results will help them to determine if I will be seen as an inpatient versus an outpatient.
Anyway, Dr. Li agreed that we would need to hold the meds for about five days and then he would like to perform the test himself. So, Starting tomorrow no atenolol and no florinef. I see him Thursday afternoon and will be his last patient so he can spend as much time with me as needed. He sincerely reminded me that it would be a hard week without the atenolol and I would probably become anxious. He instructed me to call him with any problems. We discussed what measures I could take for my chest pain that wouldn't interfere with Thursday's test results.
Dan and I are also making plans to try and anticipate me not feeling well. Like getting rides for me and what things I should probably plan on canceling. Being without the Florinef does not worry me near as much as going without the atenolol. That is what keeps my heart rate down. Even while I am on it my heart rate while standing ranges from 100-130's. But, I will need to do this again the week before I go to Vanderbilt so this will be a good test for me to know what to expect and to plan accordingly.
Tonight I don't feel so hot again. My chest is really hurting and I'm tired. But, I did go to Interim today after my canceled doctor appointment and stayed until 5.
I'm going to bed now. Not feeling good.

Today is a home day. Didn't sleep to well last night. I mean I didn't wake up a lot, but I was very restless and had weird dreams. I've been feeling a little anxious over the last couple of days.
The wind is up today. I was tired this morning so I took a nap from 8-9 am.
Ozzie and I went outside for about an hour. It's like an Indian Summer almost. Can't believe we've already had snow and then rain, rain, rain. Things are wet but that's a good thing for us.
The garden is cleaned up except for the leaf lettuce. I'm going to keep it going as long as possible. The green house is very full of pepper plants and tomatoes. I'm not sure why the peppers were so delayed, but we are going to have a huge booming pepper crop!
Well, I'm kinda of in a fog today. Feel off and out of it. But, I am making myself do things, but it is really, really hard.

Skated for 1/2 an hour today then went to church for Awanas. Tired and dragging. I just couldn't seem to get excited about anything. Feel a little foggy and tired.
Tired when we got home from church. We had snacks for supper and went to bed.
The good news is that I am still not needing the benadryl at night. The herbal meds are working great for my legs!

I had a meeting this afternoon at 2:30-4. Then I went to the ice rink and skated for one hour.
Not as peppy today, but not dragging either.
Dan, on the other hand was still exhausted today.
I did a load of clothes today.

Home Day. I vacuumed and moved the houseplants from outside to inside. So, I moved them around and then watered everything.
Tired today. Napped in the morning.
Dan made it home this evening. He was very tired too! So, we went to bed early.

Went to Interim on Friday for four hours. I was really beat. No nap on Friday.
Saturday I skated for two hours. I then went to the grocery store on the way home and picked up the bare essentials. Tired when I got home but I did okay overall.
The last three nights I have not taken any benadryl for sleep. And, I am sleeping well without it.
Today I made it to Sunday School, AM church and evening church all by myself. (Dan is in Valentine visiting with his Dad and Jim. I did not take a nap this afternoon but did rest.
I've had some chest pain the last couple of nights, not sure why.
I am very tired tonight. I should sleep well.
With it being dark still at 6:30am I am having a really hard time dragging myself out of bed! It just doesn't seem right to get up before the sun!!!
I wasn't sure what I was going to do tomorrow. But, I think I need a day at home to rest up from Friday, Saturday and today's activities. I have found if I don't give myself a break, I just keep getting a little more run down each day until a crash occurs.
Dan should be home late tomorrow.

Sunday, Oct 9, 2005 - 08:10pm

Orthostatic this am. After Dan left for work I layed down and slept really hard until 9am. I was really dragging today. Got to moving this afternoon cooked supper and made extra for some people from church whose son was in the hospital in Denver and just got back home.
Boy, am I ever tired. Dan is cleaning up the supper dishes for me. He is priceless!!
Some CP today. I really noticed in the shower and now while I am just sitting here.
I held my Atenolol and florinef this am. I need to send some vital signs to Vanderbilt and wanted them to be without drugs on board. Not an ideal situation, but I want them to have the uncorrected blood pressure and heart rate readings.

Doing pretty good today. This morning when fixing breakfast I was fighting feeling orthostatic. That means I usually just give up and sit down to fix the meal and Dan's lunch. After he went to work I layed down for about an hour. Max curled up with me under the quilt. (of course we were on the couch--my buddy).
I feel pretty good, but not as well as I did on Monday. I'm having some cp and tiredness. But, still I feel better than I did this time last week.
I received my packet from Vanderbilt yesterday. I have two appointments on Jan 31st. The first one is for some basic autonomic testing at 1230. Then, I actually see the doctor at 2:30pm. They also sent several forms for me to fill out. Some to bring back with me to my appointment and some that I need to fill out and fax back immediately. They will use those faxed forms to determine if it would be more appropriate to see me as an inpatient vs. an outpatient.
There are a couple of motels that provide medical discounts for Vanderbilt clients. One is a Days Inn. I guess I need to start hunting for plane tickets. Due to the time of year, we will have to fly out of Casper. The roads and weather are far too unpredictable at that time of year.
And speaking of unpredictable weather-SNOW!!! Everywhere. I worked out in the garden/greenhouse yesterday for about 2 hours moving things into the greenhouse and trying to salvage what I could in case it frosted. Who knew we would get soooo much snow. Had I known it was going to snow I would have done somethings differently. Oh, well.
I skate today for 1/2 an hour and then we start AWANA's tonight at church.
So, I will be taking it easy for the rest of the day to conserve my energy!

Entry for October 04, 2005
Skated for one hour today.
NO NAP! Can you believe it, three days in a row!
Sleeping well. My legs are doing well. That herbal remedy is really working on them!

Entry for October 03, 2005
Woooopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I cleaned, vacuumed, mopped, did three loads of laundry, changed the sheets, folded clothes and didn't take a nap all day!
And worked out in the garden!
What a great day!
Dan working today.
I feel almost normal!!!

Entry for October 02, 2005
A little rough this morning. My intestines decide to have another run-away, like on Monday. But, I made it to Sunday school, I was a little late.
Church was good. Everyone asked where Dan was at as he never misses.
NO NAP today!!!!!
I worked on restringing my guitar. Jerry from church gave me a whole set of guitar strings and wouldn't take any money for them. I think he wants me to play with the choir for specials. I have not played since college. Dan and his big mouth:)
I made it to evening service too! All by myself!
Dan made it back home by 9pm. He was very sore and stiff, but was able to haul out about 20 cords of wood. I felt bad that he had to do it all by himself. I guy offered him all of this wood for free if he would come and get it on Sunday only. It was down by Laramie on one of the mountains.

Entry for October 01, 2005
I made it to skating today. I didn't do near as well as last Saturday, but hey, I made it!
Fell asleep on the couch waiting for supper to get done.
I have been sleeping better. I am still taking the benadryl but only 1/2 a tablet. That seems to be the magic dose for not having that am hang over feeling.
Dan will be gone all day tomorrow. He is leaving at 3 am. So, I fixed all of his food for tomorrow to take with him.
I over did today. Feel so awful with fatigue and tiredness. I'm off to bed.

Entry for September 30, 2005
Still feel bad. Fatigue, cp. Me and the couch are buds!

Entry for September 29, 2005
Well, Last night while at church I started to feel really wiped out and my chest pain came back. My Doctor believes it is related to the mitral valve prolapse. But, I have read that chest pain (cp) is also a symptom that goes along with the autonomic disorder. But, with my history of the heart attack we watch it a little closer.
So Today is not a good day. The cp would not go away. It just drains me. Also, I am dehydrated. My blood pressure is in the high 80's to low 90's for the top number. My heart rate is in the low 100's. Since my blood pressure was so low I was not able to drive today. That's okay, I didn't feel like going anywhere.
You gotta love the couch!

Yesterday morning I was very very very foggy. As the day progressed my fog began to lift and I was able to do more.

Great news Tuesday afternoon!! Dr. Li's office called me. I thought it was to tell me that they were sending the referral letter to Vanderbilt. But, they were calling to tell me that yes they had talked to Vanderbilt and I have an appointment for Jan 31 @ 2:30pm.
Dan and I are so excited.

Today I am doing pretty good. No skating today. I went yesterday for about one hour. Had a great time.
Wednesday, Sep 28, 2005

Not one of my better days. A couch day. Some CP, extreme tiredness. Feel better laying down.

Rough night last night. BP up to 130/70. HR 105. I was SOB and having CP. I took a propranolol and a whole Bendadryl. I was finally able to fall asleep. This morning I was very tired and a little foggy. Okay, actually I was very foggy all day. I felt like my brain was in cement.
I made it to Sunday School and church. Dan told me this afternoon, that he had his doubts that I would make it out the door. I slept really, really hard for 2 hours this afternoon. I couldn't defog my brain enough to go to church this evening.
I feel funny this evening. Can't describe it. Some chest pain. Nauseated and hot. (yesterday I was so cold. I just couldn't get warm)
Well, tomorrow is another day.
Sunday, Sep 25, 2005

Still doing well. I only took 1/2 a benadryl to sleep last night. My legs are feeling good with the special herbal leg formula that I started taking. Skated from 1130 to 1500 today and then went to a friends house for about 1 and 1/2 hours. Was home by 5.
My blood pressure tonight was 120/7o with my heart rate at 105.
Well, I'm going to bed earlier tonight. I'm tired after all of that skating and visiting.
Oh, today at skating my students were commenting on my increased energy and the fact that I was actually demonstrating jumps. People can tell when I am feeling good.
More later.


Saturday, Sep 24, 2005

Ohh, I just wrote this whole entry and it disappeared from the screen! So, here goes another try.
I was very groggy when I woke this morning. Last night I only took 1 1/2 benadryl. But, will need to cut back for tonight. I fixed breakfast and layed down and slept really hard from 0730 to 0845.
I went into town for a 0930 meeting and made it back home at 3pm. Long day but I was doing well and didn't need a nap! I sat down a little and put my feet up. Then my ride came and took me to church for the ladies meeting.
Other than my slow start to the morning, I had a pretty great day.
Tonight I only took one benadryl, so we will see how I do. Oh, the herb for my legs really seems to be working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yah hooooooo!!!!!
Thursday, Sep 22, 2005

Pretty good day today. Very groggy this am, layed down from 8-1030am. Think I need to cut back on the benadryl. So, will do that for tonight.
But, feel really good. Just a little tired, but no fatigue for the last few days. That is half the battle. If I don't have the fatigue I can do just about anything.

Wednesday, Sep 21, 2005

Sunday went pretty well. I did not sleep well Saturday night. My blood pressure Sunday am was only 88/61. But, I felt fine. It was friend day at church and we had both invited people. We were very excited as we had a total of four friends come!!!!
I napped really hard Sunday afternoon. Dan woke me up to go to church and I was have a really hard time with brain fog. It continued on through Monday night. I seem to be doing better today. Not so off-balance as Sunday night and Monday.
I've been having trouble sleeping again. Even with the benadry, so the last two nights I have been taking 2 tabs instead of the one. I did pretty well last night. Went to sleep a little after 11pm and I think I stayed asleep all night.
Today my blood pressure is up in the 90's (along with my heart rate).
I have skating today for 1/2 an hour. I remember last week, I felt really good after skating, so I'm hoping the same will happen today. I plan to skate tomorrow for 1/2 an hour. Then I have AWANAS at church that night. Thursday morning I have a presentation at Interim for the Clinical staff. I usually try to stay home on Friday to rest up for Saturday's busy day of skating.
Yesterday, Monday, I was able to vacuum, wash the sheets, wash the towels, run the dishwasher and fix breakfast and lunch. I did take a long hard nap though!
Write more later this week. I seem to be doing pretty well.
Tuesday, Sep 20, 2005

Skating today. I did pretty well. Skated from 1130 to 1430 with two 15 minute breaks. Came home worked in garden for about 15 minutes. Was able to relax for a little bit but did not nap. Then Dan came home and we changed clothes and went to the ranch city party. We haven't been in several years. Probably not since the last time that we had free tickets.
It was good to see so many people out. Dan and I both visited with various friends. You just never know who you will see there! I made it for a couple of hours then I started getting really tired so we headed home before the music started. It was so very crowded, filled the entire industrial building at the fairgrounds. Ned Ledoux and his band from Nashville are to play. Ned is Chris Ledoux's son.
Tomorrow is friend day at church and we have invited several people and I'm picking up one person. I'm really tired, so I better head off to bed. So, glad that I got a break from cooking supper tonight.
Overall a pretty good day!

Thursday I wound up staying home all day. I felt like I had drank five pots of coffee. Very anxious, constantly on the move, and unable to focus long enough to complete tasks. I was a pacing and pawing all day long. Dan came home from work to a wife who was chattering a mile a minute about nothing and changing subjects just as fast. He just smiled and said, ya been like this all day?
I started drawing and doodling after supper and it really, really helped to calm me down. It was the most focused I had been able to be all day. After an hour, two pictures and a doodle page, I was able to go to bed and fall asleep. I did wake up a few times during the night but was able to go back to sleep.
I made an appointment to see Dr. Li in one month as per his request.
Today was a pretty good day. I was able to go into Interim for 4 hours. That is the longest I have been in there for some time.
Tomorrow is skating. I have plenty of help lined up, so I should be okay.
The side effects from the florinef are already beginning. My face is already starting to turn red and I think it looks a little puffy. No noticeable difference with my blood pressure yet. Today it was 94/56 and heart rate this am was 95.


Friday, Sep 16, 2005 - 09:36pm

Wow, time sure does fly. I didn't realize it's been since Monday when I last made some notes. I'm doing pretty good. No major changes. My heart rate is remaining in the 90's with normal activity and higher with walking and working outside.
Tuesday I went skating for 1/2 an hour and felt really, really good. I was feeling so good all evening. Dan was dragging and I was still feeling good!
Wednesday I woke up feeling pretty good; but when my blood pressure was measured it was only 87/66. My heart rate was good, in the 80's. So, I rearranged my schedule a little. I don't drive when my blood pressure is so low.
Today, I feel the fatigue back in me. It feels like a have cement blocks inside of me and sitting up is hard. I will just re-adjust my plans for today and see if it will leave me with a morning nap instead of an afternoon rest period.
Then maybe I can go into town to Interim. If not, I will just go in tomorrow.
The really good news is that with the help of the benadryl and hot bath before bed; I'm able to fall asleep within 15-20 minutes and I'm staying asleep all night!!!!

Thursday, Sep 15, 2005

Yesterday morning started out a little sluggish but by the time church was over I was feeling much better. Took a nap between services and was able to make it back into town for the 5:30 service. (I often don't make it back for the evening service).
Today a little sluggish with some low bp feelings but that improved if I was careful with my activities and didn't stand for so long.
I am still requiring benadryl for sleep. The good news is that for the first time in several weeks I slept through the night without waking up at all. It was very exciting for me.
This morning I over did it working outside. My blood pressure dropped and my heart rate went very high. Dan helped me fix some lunch and then I layed down for about 3 hours.
I feel a little shaky and have some chest pain and tightness tonight. A little jittery feeling.
Tonight will be my last natural bath treatment. I will have used up the supply. I guess it's not going to work. Oh well, it was worth a try.
I am still taking all of my new herbs. I think the leg formula is really helping. I am taking double the recommended dose. When the pain calms down a bit I will reduce the dose.
Well, I better get some supper fixed.
Monday, Sep 12, 2005

Entry for September 10, 2005
We were at the doctors for quite a while. He saved me for last so he wasn't so rushed. It has been quite sometime since I had been in for an official visit. I am always struck at his true kindness and caring towards Dan and I. Dr. Li sees Dan and I out and about around town, and he always stops and visits. He is also a customer of Dan's.
We always brainstorm at my visits. We throw around what the most prevelant of symptoms are, which ones are worst, which ones we should treat first and what treating one symptom would do to the other symptoms. But here is our plan of attack :
1. He is going to call Vanderbilt and found out what information they need for a referral.
2. Keep Atenolol at 1/2 tab qam. (this is for my heart rate)
3. Re-start Florinef one quater tab qd (this medicine makes my blood pressure increase by causing my body to retain sodium. Just for the record, I HATE THIS Medicine.) I have been on this medicine two other times. It does help, but we know that I can't stay on it forever as my blood pressure steadily increases and increases and increases. The first time I was on this medicine I was not on the home med monitor and failed to realize my blood pressure was increasing to dangerous levels. I blacked out in the shower one day Dan came and got me and took me into to the docs. My blood pressure was over 200. The second time I was on the drug I had the home med monitor. The home med monitor is an automated blood pressure/heart rate/weight machine that is computerized to automatically summon me to measure my vital signs at 9am and 6pm. I can also trigger it as needed. The results are then transmitted via phone line to my home health agency. Then their computer software flags anything out of the norm. The nurses then fax my reports to Dr. Li whenever he needs them. So, getting back to the second time, this monitor saved me from a high blood pressure crisis. By having the daily results we could see where my blood pressure was gradually increasing over time. We were able to discontinue the med before it sent me into a crises. I anticipate this is what will happen again. But, I will get to feeling a little better for a little while.
4. Take the propranolol as needed for abnormal heart beats, high heart rates and chest pain.
5. Follow-up in one month.
6. Discussed the possibility of discontinuing the atenolol all together and only taking the propranolol as needed. He feels I should be able to function with my heart rates consistently in the 100 to 105's. Said I should only be concerned if my heart rates are in the 120's. This is wher him and I disagree. I don't tolerate my heart rate above 100 at all. At 105 I get short of breath and only feel good if I am lying down. (my heart rate drops if I am lying down). So, I don't think eliminating the atenolol is ever going to happen. This morning my heart rate was 117 when I got up.
7. Try benadryl for sleep if that doesn't work, he has some other ideas.
8. Will research other alternative to neurontin but feel that neurontin is probably the best option for my autonomic neuropathy at this time. (This makes my legs have pain, feel like they are on fire, feel cold, etc.) Part of the reason I'm not able to fall asleep and stay asleep.
So, we did cover a lot of things. He also scolded me for not coming in sooner. Said he worry's about me when he doesn't hear from me. That's why he is making me come back in one month...
He is very anxious to get me the referral to Vanderbilt so hopefully we will know soon!

I have an appointment with Dr. Li tomorrow afternoon.

Entry for September 08, 2005
My new herbal things finally arrived. I am taking herbs for my leg pains, sleep, and fatigue. We will see what happens. I started them yesterday.
Yes, I am still soaking 45 minutes a day in the tub with that special soap and neutralizer. It gives a good mental health break I guess. I committed myself to bathing until I ran out of the product. So, I am one clean gal and a little bit pruned up!
I did pretty good yesterday. Very tired yesterday and groggy. But I did go skate for one hour and went to church. People did comment that I looked tired. Hmmm, I must need better make-up or something.
I am going into town this morning. Usually I stick to afternoons, but hey, I'm up, I'm dressed, why not go now and get it over with?
I still need to make an appointment with Dr. Li. My meds are messed up and so is my heart rate and blood pressure. They are all over the place. No rhyme or reason. Much worse than usual. When I go to see Dr. Li we are also going to discuss the content of his referral letter to Vanderbilt Medical Centers Outpatient Dysautonomic Disorder Clinic (say that real fast twice!). Yes, I spoke to the clinic a little over a week ago and all they need is a call from Dr. Li, records and a referral letter then they will set up the appointment through his office. I know, sounds too good to be true!
Well, I better go for now.

Not feeling so well right now. Haven't felt real whoopy since Sunday. The atenolol is getting out of my system and I'm having increased frequency of high heart rates and taking more propranolol. It is a little disappointing because my blood pressures have been staying up quite nicely with the lower dose of beta blocker.

Tuesday, Sep 6, 2005 - 09:41pm

Entry for September 04, 2005
Last night I felt my heart racing and started having some painful heart beats, so I went to my handy home med monitor and my heart rate was 105, just standing there. So, I took a propranolol, a different kind of beta blocker that I have for as needed use. It seemed to work within an hour or so.
This morning I am so very tired. Then at 9am, my trusty monitor goes off asking me to take my vitals (it is connected via telephone to Interim Home Healthcare) And I found out why I am so very, very tired this morning. My blood pressure is only 78/59!!!!!
Welcome back the rollercoaster of my health. Hopefully, I will improve by this afternoon.

Sunday, Sep 4, 2005 - 08:25am (PDT)

I am feeling pretty good today. I have been feeling so much better in the mornings the last few days. It could be the baths or the fact that my beta blocker was decreased a week ago. The beta blocker while reducing my heart rate, which is a good thing, also decreases my blood pressure, which is a bad thing.
Today my blood pressure remains above 100. In the past when we have tried to decrease my beta blocker, the high heart rate and irregular heart beats and cp would force us to resume the bid dosing, but so far I have only had a few episodes which only last for a couple of minutes. So, if I don't need to increase my medicine I won't.
We are going to town today to buy groceries. Shopping is probably the hardest activity for me. We will see how I do. I usually am forced to ride in the wheel chair, especially at Walmart. I totally hate being in the w/c. (People always look at my legs and feet to see what's wrong). Standing is just so fatiguing, and you tend to do a lot of that when shopping. We will see.
I am going to finally get my pictures developed from my trip back home to Illinois in July. If they are any good I will scan them in and put them in an album on the main page. Yes, it's true, I am still fluctuating between digital and 35mm. They both have pro's and con's....
I slept well last night!!!!
I'm still waiting for another shipment from a vitamin company. I subscribe to a fatigue newsletter on-line and they suggested something called 5-HTP to help combat fatigue. So, I am anxious to try it as it is also supposed to improve your quality of sleep as well.
Well, it's off to town!
Saturday, Sep 3, 2005 - 08:25am

Doing pretty well today. Did not get a lot done but still felt pretty good at 7pm. Started getting tired after supper. 2nd bath in natural treatment today. BP 100/58 tonight. Still not taking second dose of beta blocker. Seem to be tolerating that pretty well.
No nap today, but I did rest.
Slept pretty well last night, thanks to the neurontin.
Hope I keep doing well. :)
Friday, Sep 2, 2005 - 08:51pm

I felt really good this morning, in fact, I had one of my "I'm cured" days. "I'm cured days" are when I feel so good, it's like I could never feel bad again. Well, I was cured until about 3pm.
Today I also started a new natural treatment. A friend of Dan's told us of another old friend of Dan's whose wife had a heart attack for no apparent reason, (sound familiar). She was responding poorly and they stumbled upon this product that she bathed in everyday. It had miraculous results. In fact, they were so impressed with it that they bought the rights to the product and started their own company and called it, "The Master's Miracle". So, as soon as the UPS man arrived today I was taking a bath.
We'll see. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I felt so very bad last week, I'm just desperate to get my groove back and get on with living.
Now, I'm really tired. I sure hope I can fall asleep tonight. It took me until after 1am to finally fall asleep last night, but at least I stayed asleep!!
I skated today for 1/2 an hour. I always feel better in the cooler temperature. I know it's bizarre.
Tomorrow I don't have to go anywhere, which is a good thing with the gas prices going so high.
Thursday, Sep 1, 2005 - 07:31pm