Entry for October 18, 2005
Well, I tossed and turned until 1am and then I got up and went and propped up on the couch and went right to sleep. Some nights I just sleep better propped up and I can't get comfortably propped up high enough in bed. So, the couch is just right for propping me up and I can breathe so much easier.

Today I did pretty good but did get a little short of breath during the day. So, I didn't go into the rink today. I became really, really short of breath at 6pm tonight. It didn't get better until about 7:00. I am having some chest pain, but it is better than not being able to breathe.

I will take 1/2 a benadryl for sleep tonight. I have a ride into church planned for tomorrow. I just need to get a ride into Dr. Li's on Thursday for my tests. Dan can take me home, but not pick me up. I just need to ask someone...

I can't believe how bad I felt just a few minutes ago!

Okay, time to laugh at Jody moment. I was very anxious on Sunday night. So, I try my best to remember what to do when I get that way. I have several different tips and tricks that I use. One of my most important tools is my SILLY PUTTY! It really really helps. Well, I couldn't find my Silly Putty, anywhere, so that was making me even more anxious. (The good news is that on Tuesday I found my silly putty in my bedside table). I started drawing and doodling and it really helped.

So, here I am tonight, feeling comfortable just knowing that I know where my silly putty is!!!
I'm just not feeling so hot right now, so I better close for the day.


Entry for October 17, 2005

Monday again. I had a great burst of energy this morning. Got into the middle of several projects and then poof - I started feeling just exhausted. So, I have stuff strewn everywhere! It sure would be nice to finish one thing that I start :)

Really anxious again tonight. I worked all day at keeping my mind busy and relaxing the brain, but that didn't work out.

Took 1/2 a benadryl this evening. Hope it helps me to sleep.


Entry for October 16, 2005

Today is a busy day at church. Another candidate is trying out. I'm tired, but surviving. I thought I would have a few days before I started noticing that I didn't have the atenolol on board. I am very foggy today. Emotions are running high at the church and it is extremely draining when I do feel good.

Today was almost too much. The high heart rate makes me a little anxious as it is, but to add stress to the mix... Talk about a basket case.

I'm back to taking the 1/2 a benadryl before bed. It does help.


Entry for October 15, 2005

Short of breath and fatigued today. I did make it to the ice rink but cut some of the lessons short. I also took a break in between classes and open skate.

I went home and rested.


October 14, 2005

Last night I didn't feel well at all. A lot of chest pain. It just makes me feel bad all over and uncomfortable. I did sleep through the night.

I took a nap this morning from 8-9.

I had my doctor appointment with Dr. Li today. Well, it actually got rescheduled because he had to go do a heart cath at the hospital. But, I did get to visit with him about holding my meds for those blood pressure and heart rate tests that Vanderbilt wants documented and faxed as soon as possible. Those results will help them to determine if I will be seen as an inpatient versus an outpatient.

Anyway, Dr. Li agreed that we would need to hold the meds for about five days and then he would like to perform the test himself. So, Starting tomorrow no atenolol and no florinef. I see him Thursday afternoon and will be his last patient so he can spend as much time with me as needed. He sincerely reminded me that it would be a hard week without the atenolol and I would probably become anxious. He instructed me to call him with any problems. We discussed what measures I could take for my chest pain that wouldn't interfere with Thursday's test results.

Dan and I are also making plans to try and anticipate me not feeling well. Like getting rides for me and what things I should probably plan on canceling. Being without the Florinef does not worry me near as much as going without the atenolol. That is what keeps my heart rate down. Even while I am on it my heart rate while standing ranges from 100-130's. But, I will need to do this again the week before I go to Vanderbilt so this will be a good test for me to know what to expect and to plan accordingly.

Tonight I don't feel so hot again. My chest is really hurting and I'm tired. But, I did go to Interim today after my canceled doctor appointment and stayed until 5.

I'm going to bed now. Not feeling good.